It's a common theme. Google the phrase "Don't let anyone hold you back" and you will be taken to thousands of references, thousands of inspirational images. The above image is one that was quickly and easily found.

​It seems positive. Perhaps it was written with positive intent. I certainly don't know the relationship between the speaker and the recipient of this message in its original form. But... really?

Just do what you want to do.

That's the heart of this message. Do what you want and let nothing and nobody hold you back.

Really? Like, really?

It takes just a cursory look at human beings to realize that we often want terrible things. We often crave things that are destructive to ourselves. We often want things that end up hurting others. We often seek after things that have little worth but terrible consequence.

The more I thought about this phrase and this idea—to let nothing hold you back—the more I saw the dark and sinister side to it.

The whole point of a conscience is to be held back from doing terrible things that we otherwise crave. The whole point of developing self-control is to be able to hold ourselves back from our worst tendencies. The whole point of parents is to hold their kids back—to hold toddlers back from running into the street; to hold school kids back from playing late when homework needs to be done; to hold teens back when they naturally want to rebel against the very boundaries that keep them safe.

Our families are supposed to hold us back from our worst impulses. Our friendships are supposed to hold us back from running amok with no emotional ties. Every emotional tie we make with other people holds us back. Every commitment we make holds us back from freedom to do whatever we want.

And thank goodness they do. People without restraints, without morality, without conscience, without ties to anyone—they do not do good things. 

We live in a postmodern world in which it is often presumed that there is neither objective truth nor objective morality. There are messages everywhere that claim that customs, cultures, taboos, etc., they all shackle us and oppress us. Young adults often believe that tying themselves down to a single person will stop them from living the life they want. Many in the rising generation question whether having children is worth the constraints they will inevitably place on them.

The things and people that hold us back are bad and need to be cast off.

Well... I question that belief. Catch the Wind openly questions this belief. Here's Elizabeth, in emotional turmoil as she deals with the struggle between what she wants and what her teachers want. She confronts all the possibilities of who she can become, and one stands out:

• She saw a woman of power, a woman without a conscience haunting her, without teachers controlling her, without friends or family holding her back... She saw power that made the gods bow, that made the Faerie tremble, and made souls cry out for mercy. Nothing held this woman back. No memories, no empathy, and no constraints.

Later, another character realizes:

• Her mother's worries, fears, and pleas to be careful—they held her back. Wit's stories and scolding held her back. Everybody she cared for held her back. Her desire to help... held her back... they all held her back. 
  
  They held her back because she let them. Because they loved her and she loved them. Because without them, nothing was left that mattered. They did not hold her back from achieving her potential. They held her back from the edge of a cliff.

So I invite you all, as you read Catch the Wind, to think of those who hold you back. Those who have helped you turn away from your worst impulses, those who have helped you back away from a cliff. Think of all the times you were young and wanted to do something destructive, but you let the love of somebody else hold you back. Think of the times you knew how disappointed your parents would be if you did something and ended up avoiding a terrible catastrophe. Think of all the times your loyalty to someone kept you tied down and made you a better person. 

We are supposed to be held back. And it's a lesson that I believe each rising generation needs to learn.

Of note in the world of television, AMC's highly acclaimed Better Call Saul just had its finale. Common Sense Media, which tries to give some clarity to the type of content you can expect from various movies, novels, and television shows, includes these details:

• Positive Messages: "Not Present"
• Positive Role Models: "Not Present"
• The show also opens with trial of three teenagers who broke into a morgue, beheaded a corpse, and used it for sex -- all filmed, of course, and the the film is presented in all its glory to the fictional jury as well as to us, the audience.

Or let's look at Breaking Bad, of which Saul is a prequel.

• Positive Messages: "Not Present"
• Positive Role Models: "Not Present"
• Plus high ratings for depicting violence, sex, and drug abuse.

Now, I'm going to turn to the show that has the most personal impact to me: Game of Thrones. I grew up loving fantasy, and I am a sucker for a complex story with lots of characters, whose individual narratives intertwine in interesting ways. This is a story that, on its surface, is immediately appealing to me. Here's what Common Sense Media has for one of the most well-loved shows of our time (at least through season 6).

• Positive Messages: "Not Present"
• Positive Role Models: "Not Present"
• Violence: "Frequent graphic, gory violence, including executions and their bloody aftermath, and large-scale battles with powerful and gruesome fight scenes ... Sexual violence also is graphically depicted."
• Sex: "Extensive male and female nudity; sex is graphically portrayed." (including adultery, prostitution, incest, and rape)
• Language: Every bit of profanity you can imagine is here, over and over.

I'm stuck wondering, as I think about these popular shows, Is this it? Are we really stuck in a world in which the most popular, highly acclaimed, and well-made stories have gratuitous violence, sex, and language all while providing no positive messages and no positive role models?

What kind of a culture devotes its money, talents, and time to create stories like this?

Now, my examples have obviously been cherry-picked. There are literally hundreds of different shows and movies right now, and they are not all like this. But at the same time, it's worth pondering that many of the most highly-acclaimed are exactly like these.

A good share of modern novels that have been either given, recommended, or chosen by various book clubs I participate in have language I'd rather not read, provide graphic details about things I'd rather not have in graphic detail, etc.

Once Upon a Time, I turned off shows and put down books that had graphic content because I felt like I was being entertained by horrible things, that the details were there to titillate and appeal to the worst of me. And over time, I've been rather desensitized to it.

The problems with content in modern story-telling becomes most prominent to me, a 5th grade teacher, when trying to find appropriate books to recommend for my high readers. Think about it: let's say you have a 10-year-old who is reading at a 9th grade level. I can't blindly just recommend young adult novels written for 15-year olds. Have you read what kind of stuff is in many novels targeted for young adults?

But it's not just about 10-year-olds. What about teenagers that want stories that are good, thoughtful, meaningful, and intelligent but don't want the graphic violence, the language, and the in-your-face sex? What about adults that don't want it?

And don't tell me it can't be done. From Pride and Prejudice to Great Expectations to Heart of Darkness​, it has been done. And even fantasy, which trends by its very nature to physical violence and warfare, has plenty examples of it being done. Whether it's Lloyd Alexander's Chronicles of Prydain or Ursula K. LeGuin's Earthsea and Western Shore novels, there's plenty of excellent writing, thoughtful looks at tough moral questions and tough moral situations without throwing out the F-bomb 70 times per book.

And so, that's where I'm at.

Catch the Wind, written for my students. Written for the 10-year-olds in my classroom who want high-level literature. Written for them as they get older. Written for me, to be the kind of story I crave so much. Written for those who want a story that is the opposite of what Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones give us: stories WITH positive messages and role models, but WITHOUT the overwhelming language, sex, and violence.

I tried to create a story that is clean but deals with hard things. I tried to be honest about the awfulness of Elowyn's reign, to be honest about the misery inflicted by those who choose to do terrible things. I tried to be honest about what it's like to be stuck in a bad situation, about the frustration and hurt that comes. I tried to be honest about the difficulty with fighting back and standing up for what's right.

I tried to create an intelligent, meaningful, emotionally engaging story without the crap. I tried to depict a range of interesting characters.

How well have I done? Well, that is up to every reader to decide. But I certainly invite you to read the prologue, as well as a few very short stories to decide whether or not my writing resonates with you.

I recently saw an article that bashed Disney's Princess movies -- especially the older ones. I see no need to link to (and promote) such stuff, nor do I need to get into specifics. You probably already know the spiel -- they are bad for young girls, they are sexist and problematic, they teach that the purpose of life is to sit and wait to be rescued by the man, etc., etc., etc.

We've all heard this stuff. For me, it was just one of hundreds of experiences I've had reading or listening to the exact same criticism.

The criticism hits me with an extra pang of sorrow because I can see a lot of myself in it. There was a time in my life that I felt the need to stick my nose up at stories and books that other people enjoyed. There was such a satisfying feeling of intellectual superiority that came from this mindset. By proudly proclaiming that I would never read and enjoy such drivel, I was able to step on a metaphysical pedestal and look down on all the sheep surrounding me.

Ugh. Even now -- many years later, and long after turning away from this attitude -- even today I feel nauseated thinking about how I openly embraced such a miserable, condescending way of thinking.

Intellecutal superiority? What an empty, meaningless goal. It took time, but I have been able to realize that moral decency, moral goodness, and moral courage trump intellectual superiority every time. I don't care how smart my children are. I want them to seek their potential, but beyond that it doesn't matter. But I care deeply about how decent they are, as well as how courageously they stand for what is right -- even if it means standing alone.

But back to the Disney movies. And specifically, the one that I see cited most often as the poster-child of everything wrong with the Princess movies: Cinderella.

The criticisms tends to follow thus: Cinderella is passive and helpless. She is totally dependent on, first, the Fairy Godmother and later the Prince. Her only achievement is looking pretty enough that the prince marries her. It presents strong women as evil (the stepmother) and submissive, dominated women as good. Wear pretty clothes, go to the party, and make the superficial man fall in love with you. These are the lessons of Cinderella.

How strange that such a thematically bankrupt Fairy Tale is so popular.

Let's be honest, it's Cinderella who is the Disney Princess prototype -- even though she was not the first to be featured in a movie. But neither Aurora nor Snow White capture the idea of what it means to be a Princess like Cinderella. It's her magical dress, her magical night dancing at the ball, her final invite to the Prince's carriage -- these are what have captured girls' imaginations for decades.

But even outside of Disney, it's Cinderella that is told over and over. It's Cinderella that is featured in multiple Broadway musicals. It's Cinderella who finds herself a main protagonist in Into the Woods. It's Cinderella that finds her story re-told again and again. Even in my 5th grade reading textbook, in the Fairy Tale unit, it's the story of Cinderella that finds its way into the pages -- a modern, hip, feminist take, of course.

How tragic that the worst of the Princess stereotypes is the one told so often.

Except, maybe Cinderella's story isn't so terrible. 

You see, the criticisms of Cinderella are nothing more than an interpretation. An interpretation based on intellectual superiority and twisting everything into the worst possible light. An interpretation determined to despise a story that is obviously well-loved, determined to find misery where so many others find joy. 

But thankfully that's not the only way to see the story. You see, how you choose to interpret the story is up to you. As I teach my 5th graders, when you interpret a story, when you decide what it means and what themes it presents, the first requirement is that the interpretation has to fit the details of the story. But beyond that -- find an interpretation that is most meaningful to you.

So here's a different take on Cinderella.

It's the story of a woman who is stuck in a rotten situation through no fault of her own. But instead of wallowing in self-pity, instead of shriveling her soul in spite, envy, and anger -- she instead spends her time trying to help and care for those with even less power than her. She allows herself to dream of something better even when she has to do the most menial of tasks. She even practices a bit of Christ's "turn the other cheek" invitation as she deals with those who treat her heartlessly.

But then, even amid the despair, even amid all the long hours of hard work she must do, even amid the injustice of it all -- she still works to make her life better. Never forget that before the Fairy Godmother comes, it's the mice who made the dress -- a gift from those who Cinderella befriended and valued. Really, in this interpretation, the clothes are crucial to the story -- but not in a superficial way. Cinderella clothes the mice. The mice transform her mother's dress into something to match how they value Cinderella (and how she values them). The Fairy Godmother dresses Cinderella in a way that matches her -- matches her eyes while being simple, but daring -- Cinderella's best traits. 

Cinderella's beauty at the ball -- the thing that attracts the Prince -- is a metaphor for the kind of person she is. Remember, a Fairy Tale isn't meant to be a realistic story. It's a shorthand, a simplified tale to get the message across. Even though Disney fleshes Cinderella's backstory out to give her character some realism, the tale itself is still a shorthand. When the Prince sees Cinderella, when he is dazzled at her beauty, he is being dazzled by her goodness. Because the Fairy Godmother dressed her in a way that represents who she is.

So when the Prince doesn't recognize her after the ball, the cynic points out that he's just a superficial male, looking at beauty and nothing else. Or we can think of it this way: the Prince can't find her because the inner goodness can't be seen. Because that's what the dress is -- an outer reflection of Cinderella's inner goodness. When that is hidden, symbolically shown by both the dress's disappearance and the way Cinderella is shut away in the back of the home -- the Prince can't find her. And he refuses to accept a substitute.

Seen in this way, Cinderella is a beautiful story. It is exactly the kind of story I want children to latch on to, with exactly the kind of themes I want them to believe in.

But wait, there's more! (channeling my inner TV infomercial here).

There are other ways to interpret the story. How about this one: a story of value.

Cinderella is initially stuck with her stepmother, who either cannot or refuses to see Cinderella's true value. It's a situation we will all find ourselves in, in some way or another -- dealing with a person or people who refuse to see us for who we are. So what does Cinderella do? She finds those who can see her value. And she does this, not by being angry or competitive or flexing girl-power -- no, she does this by finding those in need and treating them with greater value than they see in themselves.

What a beautiful idea -- that at the same time Cinderella is being put down by those who should see her as an equal, she elevates those who see themselves as lesser. And because she does this, she is able to find those who can see her true value. They see her as a Princess long before she actually becomes one.

And then, when those who refuse to see her value demean her again, Cinderella is able to find those who value her -- the Fairy Godmother, the Prince. She is, basically, able to find those who will treat her like a Princess. And make no doubt, the movie makes clear that she deserves to be treated that way.

And so in the end, Cinderella latches on to those who treat her in a way that matches her value -- those who treat her like a Princess. She goes off to marry the Prince, bringing the mice with her. Again, she elevates those who are not her equals. And where is the stepmother in all this? Where are the stepsisters? Nowhere to be seen.

Another lesson I want my daughter -- and all girls to learn. Seek those who see your true value. Seek those who will treat you like a Princess, and do not bother with those who don't. 

I could go on, of course. It's a story about hope. It's a story that believes in dreaming of something better. It's a story that believes you will find help if you do what you can to help yourself. It's a story that believes that love is the greatest of happy endings.

And that's the point. There are many ways to interpret a story. And there's no reason to latch onto the one way that is most cynical, hopeless, and negative. Instead, let beautiful stories be beautiful. When little girls want to be like Cinderella, let's help them see how positive and wonderful that desire can is.

I mentioned in a previous post that one of the goals for Draft #3 is to pin down the structure of the novel. Well, there's one interesting structural aspect of Red Horizons, Crimson Skies that I didn't mention yet.

The novel is written as a large chaismus.

This has been a "will-I-or-won't-I" debate for a long time, and I finally decided to go for it. This is a Hebrew literary form in which the events move to a climax in the middle of the story, then repeat in reverse order until you reach the ending—which is an echo of the beginning. Here are a few examples:

• A simple chiasmus example, from Matthew 20:16: The first shall be last and the last shall be first.
• Another simple example, from the opening song to the musical Catch the Wind, "Once upon a time, so long ago, in a faraway land, so long ago, once upon a time."
• A much more involved example, and one that more closely fits the way this poetic form is used in my novel, is the story of Moses, from Exodus:
  • The Hebrews are enslaved
  • Pharaoh orders the Hebrew first-born males killed
  • Moses escapes the murder
  • He is raised by Pharaoh's daughter in the court
  • Moses realizes he is a Hebrew and he steps in to save a Hebrew slave
  • Moses flees Egypt
  • Moses meets Tzipporah and marries her
  • Moses encounters God at the Burning Bush — the Climax of the story. Now watch how all the previous events are echoed in reverse order.
  • Moses tells Tzipporah what has happened
  • Moses returns to Egypt
  • Moses steps into Pharaoh's court and demands the Hebrew slaves be saved
  • Moses returns to the court over and over, as the plagues strike Egypt.
  • Moses institutes the Passover to allow the Hebrews to escape the coming deaths
  • God kills the Egyptian first-born males
  • The Hebrews are set free

So yeah, Exodus is rather incredible when you look at its form. And beyond what I wrote, you can find several more mini chiasmi within the narrative.

So this is what I've been toying with in my novel for a long time, and now as I really put together the final structure of the story, I realized the chiasmus for will work.

This means that my novel, much like the Exodus, will have two climaxes. Exodus has the traditional climax—i.e. the point at which the main conflict resolves—when the Hebrews cross the Red Sea and Pharaoh's chariots are destroyed. And Red Horizons will have a big climax like this—one that I hope my readers find as exciting as it is to me.

But just as Moses's story has a second climax, the pivotal center of the story, my novel will also. The key to everything, in many ways, will be what happens in the center. So, I suppose I'm giving all my readers a hint right now. If the final novel ends up being 22 chapters long as expected, pay attention to what happens (and in different terms, what the characters choose) in chapter 11.

The 5th Draft was completed early July, and it is now going through the editing process.

The cover art is currently in production. I can't release the preliminary sketches, but let's just say that the cover art is going to be fantastic. The artist, Gabrielle Ragusi, has been able to come up with several ideas that capture exactly what the book means to me. You can see her portfolio here:

https://www.gabrielleragusi.com/projects/portfolio

​So at this point, I'm personally doing nothing with Catch the Wind. Once the editing and cover art are finished, then it's time to put together the final layout of the novel and begin the final production.

With Catch the Wind out of my hands for the time being, it has been time to begin the major writing for the second of the three novels.

I am currently in the middle of Draft #3.

So what does that mean? Well, this will give you a window into my writing process.

• Draft #1 — the goal is to simply finish the novel and figure out what it's about and where it goes.
• Draft #2 — now that I know the story, it's time to nail down the first level of the plot: what happens, i.e. the events told in the story, from beginning to end.
• Draft #3 — Now that I know the specific plot elements, now it's time to do major revisions of the structure of the story. This is where I'm at right now. Here's what I mean by the structure:
  • I changed the main POV in the first section of the novel. I really like this change, but it has been hard. We're talking about a story that has been more or less figured out for more than 15 years, and now I'm narrating everything from a new point of view.
  • Three prominent characters were added. The story needed some light-heartedness to bring some mood balance to what is in some ways one of the heavier stories I've ever come up with.
  • Figuring out how to put the backstories into the novel. There's a pretty involved backstory to each of the three main characters, and I had to decide how to place those in the novel.
• Draft #4 — now revise the plot. Instead of thinking of it in terms of what happens, I think of it as what the characters choose. This makes the story more active and the characters more engaging—they're not just reacting to the events, their choices become the focal point. Additionally, I look for where characters' personalities can come out more, where their motives need to be more clear, etc. After Draft #4, it's time to give the story out to test readers.
• Draft #5 — after getting feedback from test readers, it's time for the final revision based on their reactions. After this draft, the story is ready to go to editors for the formal editorial work.

Not much to say here. Real work on this final story won't begin until I'm done with the writing of Red Horizons, Crimson Skies.

I have a lot of thoughts on where this story is going to head, and I've done some preliminary outlining. But I don't expect major work on this novel to begin until about October.